To be nervous or timid among a company of other people,
That is the literal and logical meaning of being shy.
Something not a lot many people can understand,
But I have the ability to carve out words like sculptures,
And the ability to build up metaphors like timeless structures.
I am a boy.
Susceptible to self doubt and anxiety,
To be used by people who are coy,
And that in turn makes me more fearful of people.
I am not your usual guy.
I don’t just go up to people to talk to them.
I’ll be standing away from the rush,
Quietly observing and reading their minds.
I take a step forward and two steps back.
I think a yes once and reason with negligence twice.
I feel like I’m being watched by someone,
I feel like the dementors are constantly sucking out my confidence.
The only place where I can be who I am is my home.
But also among my friends who I dearly cherish.
As I write this I feel I’m unlocking the cage where a young phoenix resides.
People call me dark, they call me ice cold, because I seem to them, to be judgemental.
My mind is like a war going on since the beginning of time,
And may end only when the battlefield dies.
As I write this piece, I judge myself so hard,
Im afraid that when I read this it will penetrate my body like a thousand shards.
I feel the pressure to be a boy slowly curb my heart.
But my weakness is my strength that I can’t thwart.
I know people better than they know me.
I know how to act tough, be cold and dark and judgemental.
I am an actor.
For if I have to stand on a stage,
I stand on the stage and act out my lie.
I laugh, I cry, I act a crazy lie.
For that is when I can be someone else, someone that I can’t possibly be.
I sing my heart out.
For when I sing, I roar like the lion, I wail like a banshee,
I vibrate like a violin, I make them all quiet to hear me.
I am a boy.
I am confident and I am shy.
I am strong only when I show it off.
And I show it off only when I need it.
I am a human.
I have the right to be who I want to be.
I can be jolly like the daffodils or sorrowful like someone’s past.
I can be positive like a child’s aspirations or gloomy like the monsoon clouds.
For I am.